Brilliant

This is hilarious.

Ear Coning

If you have never done it, I highly recommend it. At least if you are the kind of person that takes much joy out of popping zits.

You basically light a special candle, stick it in your ear, and *viola* a few minutes later, this special "ear candle" has sucked out all sorts of nastiness from your cranium. You even get to see this nastiness. It is basically amazing.

I just did it and I swear that I hear so much better than I did before. And before you go thinking that I must have had some abnormally mingin' ears, I must say that I clean my ears with a q-tip everyday. So I'm pretty sure an ear cone would basically change your life too, no matter how clean you think your skull is.

Okay, so I'm about 99% sure that this post is what Michael Scott would call TMI (too much information) so I will stop and spare you a description of the post-use ear candle. But if you are interested, go to hi-health or Sprouts (or probably any health food store) and pick up your own set of ear candles. You wont regret it. Promise.

Jordan Knight in my heart forever

My dream from 4th grade has finally been realized.  And what a blessing it truly is. 

When visiting my friends' homes as a child--friends with parents that didn't think video game would automatically make their children social outcasts--I would slobber over their nintendo systems. If they had a tv in their room with a nintendo attacted to it, I would be jealous beyond words. I would try to be as endearing as possible to the parents. I would begin cleaning their homes hoping they would notice how helpful I was and adopt me so that I too could have nintendo in my room.

I wanted nintendo SOOO badly. I begged my parents. But all of my pleadings fell on deaf ears. I mean, my father didn't break down and buy a computer until flat screened monitors became a standard feature in basically every household. He was convinced that computers and video games make children dorky. Like we'd get picked last in kickball if he kept up with technology. Well, guess what? I didn't have video games or a computer growing up and I was never any good at kickball (I did, however, kick trash in four square).

But as I mentioned, recent events have changed my life for the better. Thanks to kind neighbors who gave me their old super nintendo instead of throwing it in the trash, my mom trying to get rid of an old TV, and a dorky friend good with technology, I now have super nintendo set up in my bedroom. I played super mario for a solid 15 minutes today. From the comfort of my bed. It's just about the greatest thing to happen to me since New Kids on the Block busted onto the scene and changed my life forever. 

Oh, and get this: the TV has a VCR attached to it. Classy.  

BTW

Gaucho pants are never a good idea.

Oh, the Injustice

Gas prices are far too high. The inhumanity of it all is just mind-blowing. I mean, P.Diddy has been forced to ground his private jet and sit among the miscreants in first class due to the extravagant fuel costs.

Poor guy.

But this is P.Diddy we are talking about. Far from stupid or resourceful, he has taken the burden of lowering fuel costs on his very capable shoulders. He just made a video proving to the people of the world that gas prices are way too high. He also pleads with his "Saudi Arabia brothers and sisters" for free fuel so that he can be up and flying again in his private jet on his arduous commute to and from NYC and LA to pursue his acting career. 

Frankly, there are so many places I could go with this and I'm at a loss of which direction to pursue. Should I talk about the environment and poverty and explain that there are much better ways to be spending both his time and money? Should I join him in begging his Saudi "brothers and sisters" for free fuel so he will no longer pester the innocent and unsuspecting passengers of his regular American Airlines flights? Should I recommend that he take an economics class to better understand that high fuel prices are not intended as a personal affront on ego-tripping, multi-bazillionare a--holes? 

Well, Diddy, like you, I am at a loss. 

  

Arts and Crafts

Given the fact that "La Boheme" is now crashing at her parent's house (and yes, by "crashing," I mean "living at until she figures out what she's doing with her life") I figured I had better change the name of my blog to "the Mooch." It'd be false advertising otherwise.

And yes, I am a mooch. I own up fully to this fact. What can I say? I like free things. I've realized that out of the 4 cell phones that I have owned, I have only paid for one of them. The stereo in my car? Free. A healthy portion of my wardrobe? Free. All the mints in my purses? Free (thanks to those big bowls full of them sitting by restaurants doors just waiting for greedy hands and large purses). 

I've pretty much spent the entire year, up to this point, mooching off the goodwill of those around me.  I've crashed on a couch in Provo, a spare bedroom in Tel-Aviv, and now I'm in the guest room at my parent's home in Mesa.

But enough of all that. I want to share what I did today. I'm quite proud of it. I mod-podged a lamp shade using little things that I saved from my first trip to France. I was 18 and absolutely nuts--I just bought a ticket and went by myself. It was a pretty pivotal experience for me and was probably pretty instrumental in creating the nomadic lunatic that I am today.

So I now have a lamp shade to remind me of that amazing experience. Ticket stubs, maps, and brochures now adorn a lampshade on a really cool lamp I bought today at Goodwill for $4.99. While I do not easily part with my money, this was well worth it.  

UPDATE

1) I've decided that the only way to keep myself from a building ledge or walking into oncoming traffic is to leave. So come rain or shine, this girl is heading to Washington D.C. September 1st and is fully prepared to sell her soul for the right salary.

2) I am a reject of rejects. I sat for 1 hour waiting with the poor people or Provo to sell my body (plasma) only to find out that while the plasma of the smelly guy next to me was perfectly acceptable, mine was not. I've visited not one, but THREE countries on the malaria scare list. But with fibromyalgia, the technician said I could never donate regardless of where I went. They'll never want me. I was crushed. Sixty dollars a week extra would have made it possible to stop mooching rides, food, postage stamps, and laundry detergent from roommates, friends, and on occasion, complete strangers. But at least the guy let me take a juice box and bag of crackers (i.e. dinner) for my time.

3) I finished the last paper I'll ever write as an undergraduate and handed it in. It felt good. So good I might have actually leapt through the hall as I left Dr. Green's office, and incidentally frightened the guy coming around the corner.