Peer Pressure

I just applied for a job that I'm 98% sure that I don't want. Why, you ask? Peer pressure. Plain and simple. I'll do just about anything short of selling my organs if adequately convinced. And it probably doesn't take much to convince me. 

So I work at the MTC (Missionary Training Center) as a French teacher and teaching evaluator. I absolutely love my job. But I am graduating in a couple weeks and have been very much looking forward to saying goodbye to this part of the country. And when I say "very much" I mean that the only thoughts that are keeping me sane at this point are thoughts of me driving away from this place and starting a new life far far away.

Which is why I am surprised that about 10 minutes ago I just completed an application for a job that if I got, I would be expected to stick around another few years. Oi.

So here's what happened: 

Basically, my boss has been encouraging all his employees with a pulse and an ability to string coherent sentences together to apply for his job. I have been resistant and resolute in my decision to NOT apply for the job since even before I left for Israel. But strangely enough, I've felt actually really good about applying for the job that could potentially destroy all my dreams. So naturally, I've tried to fight such self-destructive  feelings. But today, on the very last day the job was open to applications, I sat down with my boss and somehow, he convinced me to run home and apply for his job. 

And I did. And I think I might just throw up.

Plummeting

I'm preparing myself for rejection on a titanic scale. I'm beginning the application process for just about every job opening in the Greater DC area that sounds interesting.  And when I say "every job" I really do mean it. 

I read something online that said to apply for all the jobs you are interested in, even if you don't necessarily fit all the qualifications. Usually hopelessly realistic, I took the advice seriously and have applied for positions that no one in their right mind would give me, but sound exciting.  Regional Representative for the World Adult Kickball Association? It's only 10 hours a week. And what wouldn't I do to be able to say, "Why yes, I am with WAKA."  An executive with the Royal Bank of Scotland? You can bet I applied for that one.  The very thought of coming in daily contact with men in suits speaking with scottish accents is enough to make the rigorous process of writing 15,000 cover letters worth it. I can't imagine how annoying it will be when I actually have accomplishments to toot my horn about. 

I have a place to stay in DC, rent-free, till I get on my feet with a job and such, so I'm significantly less worried about my future. Since I have a tendency to play worse case scenario with my life, this eases my mind quite a bit. By playing "worst case scenario," I mean that every time I walk down stairs, I see myself plummeting to paralysis. When someone doesn't return my call in a timely fashion, I assume that they have decided to hate me and form groups (with others who don't return my calls) dedicated to discussing all my negative qualities. When I plan to visit a foreign country, I figure a plane crash, political coup d'etat, or nuclear holocaust will make my plans impossible. I basically assume that everything that could possibly go horribly wrong will do just that. But hey, at least I'm never disappointed. Just pleasantly surprised that I have once again evaded failure. Hey, it works for me. It keeps me upbeat.