"Maybe"

I was on a nine-mile run in the desert today pondering a great many things (what one does on a nine-mile run in the desert on the 1st day of a new year when the previous one was INSANE) and I came to a startling realization: my generation cannot commit to anything. And I am, unfortunately, as guilty as can be.

Now, I am not just talking about relationships, though that is most assuredly true. We don't date as much because somehow, in our minds, committing to 2 hours with someone equates with picking out wedding colors and baby names. But it's not just that. We can't commit to much of anything. Just take a look at facebook.

When invited to an event of some kind we are given three options. We can hit "attending" and electronically commit to showing up some party, wedding reception or hugging a filipino on a specified day. Or we can hit "not attending" and refuse the afore mentioned activities. We are then given a third option, necessary for our current predicament of widespread indecisiveness:we can hit "maybe." And honestly, how many times do you hit "maybe?"

So instead of straight answers or accountability, we weasel our way around and casually respond "maybe." There are many reasons for the "maybe" we see so much these days. One is that we are always looking for a better option. Don't even try to deny it, you know you are. In our career choices,  social events, dating pool---whatever---we are always looking over the head of what stands before us to what just might pop around the corner and give us reason to ditch what is currently tempting our time. We don't want to say we'll do something because a greater opportunity just might arise. Jason Bourne might end up at your doorstep slightly battered and

in need of some TLC and someone to give a hair cut. A rich relative you didn't know existed may call you up and invite you to  cruise the French Riviera on their yacht (where, as chance would have it, Daniel Craig spends his time between movie gigs acting as the pool boy). 

But the more common reason, I believe,  is our inability to say "no" to things. Once again, we weasel around a bit. In our desire to never disappoint right off the bat, we rarely say no to a person's face. Whether they ask a favor we don't feel like doing, extend and invitation we don't feel like accepting, or recruit for some cause we don't feel like joining, we give them that half answer void of any sign of true character. We refuse to commit one way or the other and instead we drag out the disappointment. We can rip off a band-aid quickly or slowly and we tend to tug as slowly as possible under the pretense of "not wanting to disappoint." I really think Jack Johnson hit the nail on the head when he said "maybe, it pretty much always means no." 

So why don't we just say what we mean?

I just took a look at a few events I was invited to on facebook and I basically feel very validated. One girl created an event asking for phone numbers from friends because of a damaged phone. Fourty-seven people responded "maybe." Maybe what? Maybe you'll give her your number, you've just got to think it over? Maybe you have one? Maybe nothing. Give the number or don't. But by all means, don't spit in someone's face with a "maybe."

While pondering these things, I was forced to recognize just how guilty I am in this whole mess. I hate saying "no" right out and yes, I do in fact hold out for Jason Bourne and his sassy scissors.

So I think that one of my resolutions this year is to be more decisive and accountable. To say "no" when I mean it, even if I will disappoint, and "yes" with the confidence that I will follow through come rain or shine because my word is my bond.

This is my resolution. At least it might be. I still need some time to think it over.