3d Ultrasound

I always vowed that I would not be one who just blogs about my kids and puts up pictures of my kids and talks about how cute and wonderful my kids are. But considering I'm not even a parent yet and what follows, I'm off to a really bad start.

I just had a 3d ultrasound and I have to say, despite not entirely clear images, I am convinced my child is going to be so stinking adorable. I'll admit, I was nervous that my kid might end up funny looking. I mean, we've all seen newborns that look more alien than gerber baby. But my 30 week old babe is so downright gorgeous. I know. Biased. But look at her chubby cheeks (which will no doubt plump up further) and her button nose! I also think she has James' gorgeous plump lips. If she gets his blue eyes, forget about it. She'll kill me with cuteness.

Here she is sucking her thumb with her other fingers spread across her face. I'm praying this means her sucking instinct is fabulous and that she'll be a good latcher AND also a self-soother.

While we're on the subject, how weird is that that we can see facial features before our babies are even born? Do you think it's cheating? James sort of does. And I get that. But frankly, it warms my heart to unreal degrees to see the little thing that's been kicking my ribs incessantly and giving he crazy acid reflux 24/7. It makes all those uncomfortable things so worth it and makes me not so freaked out about childbirth (and there is plenty to freak out about--google is not your friend when you're pregnant) because I'll get to meet her.

29 weeks

While I try and avoid putting up pictures that make me look like a beached whale, I have to say that being pregnant makes it IMPOSSIBLE to put up pictures at all with such limitations. So for all who'd like to see me preggo, here goes:

Yeah, those would be my ONLY pair of maternity pants. I thought I'd get away with doing stuff like this:

And I did for a while until I stretched the hair ties to the limit and felt like my pants were about to cut me in half. I then pretty much relied on dresses and skirts until it actually FINALLY got cold here. Then I was stuck wearing running tights underneath my dresses. I've become really cheap and the thought of buying any more maternity clothes does not make me happy. But I am really getting sick of wearing the same things. But I broke down and bought a pair of pants. It's been HEAVEN. I wonder why I waited. That big ol' elastic band is nothing short of miraculous.

Here's a close up of the belly. The stripes aren't doing anything for me, I know. When I wear this shirt my students always say it makes them hungry for peppermint.

Highlights

This last week has been great for a number of reasons.

REASON #1: WE STARTED CHRISTMAS

I know, it's a little early. But why put a time limit on joy and happiness? It's been months of negotiation to work out November as the legal time frame to begin Christmas celebration. I was shooting for October, but James shot that down pretty quickly. Halloween apparently deserves the whole month. [eye roll]

While he did bend quite a bit for November, he's since really come around as the sound of Christmas music in the air just makes one merry. Our tree is up and decorated, and we have watch "Elf," "A Christmas Story," and the classic "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" (cartoon version, OF COURSE). We're pretty happy people these days.

Yesterday evening, I listened to Christmas music on my run and it was PURE MAGIC. It was like running on sugar plums and dreams. I kept looking around the neighborhoods and expecting to see Christmas lights, but I'll still have to wait a few weeks. Not everyone feels as festive and I do.

REASON #2: IT'S FINALLY COLD HERE

I actually have to turn the car heater on in the morning on my work. The BEST. It's even been rainy this week, which is seriously magical. This summer was very painful. One of the hottest on record paired with crazy morning sickness = really unhappy and crazy Erin. I wanted to punch the brutal AZ sun in the face.

REASON #3: FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS, I'M PROUD TO BE FROM AZ

Yesterday, citizens of AZ district 18 voted to oust the bigoted and corrupt politician, Russell Pearce. I can't go into all the reasons without having my blood pressure go through the roof, but here are a few resources if you want to know why he is bad news:

http://www.azcentral.com/video/1215608827001

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrHDlUNomLY

He made me sad.

REASON #4: I'M FEELING THE BABY KICK A LOT

Which is just super fun. And kind of weird, too. But more fun and reassuring than weird. I am a worrier by nature so it's really nice to have this constant reassurance that baby is there and doing well.

As a side note, this is the toughest guy I think I've ever heard of. He tells the story of what he just went through totally straight-faced, but then chokes up when he talks about how his predicament could have endangered someone else. What a stud.

End of an era

After more than 4 years, I've decided to leave facebook. I'd been contemplating the move for over 2 years after hearing a talk by Elder Bednar at a CES fireside, but it's taken a while for me to come around. One friend immediately left facebook after the talk, but I just wasn't ready to give it up. In fact, I thought she was insane. However, since that time, I've realized that it's time to say goodbye.

Maybe it's being pregnant and feeling the sense of change that's about to occur that has prompted me to move on and "re-fresh" things. I guess I just realized that facebook doesn't add to my life in any way. One thing that kept me from making this move was staying in touch with friends around the world I've collected over the years through university, the mission, and my internship in Israel. However, I realized that though we are facebook friends, we certainly are not "in touch" with one another. It's a false sense of closeness.

Here are some of my reasons, in no particular order:

1.) It is a complete waste of time (in my oh-so-humble-opinion). Okay, maybe it is appropriate that this in number 1 because even though I don't spend much time on facebook, every second that I do is a second that I can't get back and has added nothing to my life. That's the major issue for me--IT ADDS NOTHING TO MY LIFE.

2.) I don't care what [most] people ate for lunch/are going to do this weekend/think of Obama/want to happen at the game tonight. Unless that burrito was particularly delicious and you are bringing to my doorstep, call me calloused, but I don't really care. I don't need to know what crosses people's minds all day. I can barely register what is crossing my own all day. While knowing the minutuae of other peoples' lives may interest some, it adds nothing to my life or relationships. I also tire of what I perceive to be close-minded (sometimes uneducated) political rants. I don't see much fruitful political dialogue on facebook. It's either bashing or compatriot back-patting. The closemindedness that I see on facebook (from all political ideologies) actually frusterates me a great deal.

3.) For me, facebook is a communication catch-22. Because of the [lack of] privacy settings, I'm hesitant to post anything. I rarely post pictures anymore or post on people's walls, photos, etc because I don't want my business broadcast to everyone. But the whole purpose of facebook is to communicate and stay in touch, right? Instead, I feel like Jimmy Stewart in Rear Window, a voyeur watching the mundane lives of unsuspecting neighbors.

Now I admit that I have found it fun to look through people's photos and see what they are doing these days, however, it's a false sense of being "in touch." While I view happenings in friends lives, I am really no closer to them nor have I built my relationship with them. In this age of information overload, I feel that I am overloaded on people's lives without really being in their lives or having them part of mine.

4.) I've instead decided to focus on building relationships with people I am in touch with. I've decided to spend more time making phone calls, sending e-mails, and yes, blogging. I also plan on staying up with the blogs of people in my life. So expect lots and lots of posts. I'd rather have fewer real friends than 853 pseudo-friends.

Once I made the decision, I've actually been SUPER excited. It feels like rearranging my bedroom furniture or getting a brand-new hairstyle. I wont have my account officially deleted for a few days because I want to make sure I can get in touch with the handful of people who don't have my e-mail or blog info and who I would like to stay in touch with. Once I delete my page, every trace of my facebook presence will be erased. At least that's what facebook has said...

So stay tuned for regular posts!

I'll be fine when the weather cools off

I know, it's about time I posted. The problem is that once you've gone forever without posting, you feel the need to have something ultra important to say, or else it's not worth breaking the silence. And let's be honest, I rarely have anything important to say.

A lot has happened. Here is a basic update with several random thoughts and interjections:

I'm pregnant, which was hopefully obvious by the last post. I'm 22 weeks along, feeling good (though chubby).

Just a side note to people: Please be careful what you say to a pregnant woman. Saying "Oh, you don't look pregnant at all!" when they can no longer fit in any of their clothes and have found stretch marks on their belly is just saying "Oh, you always look fat!"

Also, do not comment on facebook photos from a pregnant girl's honeymoon about the "cute baby bump" that she has. It's not a baby bump. She was a year and a half from a baby bump. It was a fat bump or possibly a food bump.

Luckily, I have a very kind and loving husband who does a good job at soothing the blows people ignorantly pass out. He'll even turn around immediately after walking in the door from work to get me ice cream when the first words I say as he enters are "Baby needs Breyer's Mint Choco Chip." Maybe he's an enabler. But I call that a good husband.

I've continued running through my pregnancy which has been WONDERFUL. I had to wait till

the fires of hell stopped burning in AZ (i.e. AZ summer) to start back up in earnest, but now that the temperature is finally under 100 degrees, I try a run a few times a week. I go at a slow pace, but it feels so good to be running. I'm also running in the vibram 5-fingers which I highly recommend. I'll have to do a post on minimalist running soon. I'm really a fan. I think I've decided to run another marathon. Every time I run one, I tell myself that I will NEVER EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES succumb to the pull of the 26.2, but I think I might put aside that promise and go for it. I think I keep telling myself that maybe one day, they wont hurt like crazy. I'm probably fooling myself.

In any case, I need something to force me into really great shape post-baby. James already said he'd do a 10k with me next May. Then I'll do a half-marathon in the Fall (best distance ever) and go for a full enchilada early 2013. Maybe the Phoenix Rock'n Roll.

Anyone interested in doing a early 2013 marathon? Anyone? Bueller? I'm not opposed to some traveling.

This is the sexy maternity belt I wear while running to keep my paunch from bouncing around so much.

Maternity belt + 5-finger shoes = weirdest looking runner on the canal.

By the way, James has been miraculous through this whole pregnancy thing. He goes running with me. And he doesn't like running. Despite being fat and pregnant, I still beat him running and his ego takes it, no problem. While he does many things much better than I (e.g. cleaning, being nice, organizing, waking up early, keeping his cool under pressure), he has no problem when I do something better than him. Just yesterday, some speed walking ladies were giving him a hard time saying "Pick up the pace! Your wife an baby just smoked you!"

While the normal guy would feel bruised and either kill himself running just to beat you (because many men can't handle being beaten athletically by a girl), or never run with you ever again, he just responded with his big smile "I'm just here for moral support! She's the runner, not me!" I love that man.

Here he is before presenting some research from his doctorate at a conference in San Francisco. The glare on the picture is funny. I'm not photographically gifted. We can add that to the list of things he does better than me.

As for work, I'm still teaching at the alternative high school. So basically, my life is like Michelle Pfeiffer's in Dangerous Minds except I don't give them candy or teach them karate. I make them learn about history and to not talk when I talk. I also don't let them pee whenever they want because as far as I'm concerned, if I can hold it with a baby bouncing on my bladder, so can they. It's my second year there and I'll be finishing this year in February with my maternity leave. It's been a really wonderful growing experience and I know I've been able to do a lot of good, but I'm not sure I've got another year in me at this school. That kind of makes me feel like a failure, but I've got to be realistic.

It's been the most emotionally and physically draining, time-consuming, and intense thing I've ever attempted. You can't do this job without being ready to give give give. Your time is pretty much owned by the school--the administration (an inspired bunch--the school really is amazing) demands it. But frankly, after having a baby, I don't know that I'll be able to give that much anymore. I'm looking for something part-time and a bit more low-key after the baby. We'll see how things shake out. James is ready for me to be done at my school. Ever since my 3rd week there and some kid took out his rage in the form of $2000 a damage to my car, James has been concerned for my safety. I'd be lying if I said I was never concerned. I love the kids I teach, but most of them are heavily involved in drugs and I don't trust anyone's judgement and actions when under the influence. And at least half my kids are gang-affiliated. I hate gangs. I mean, nobody "likes" them, but it makes me livid to see what they do to these poor, bright, kids who feel like they don't have options.

So we'll see how things shake out for me. My baby will come first and I only want to do something part time. I'd love to get into non-profit work as a museum-school group liaison or something. We'll see. Open to suggestions.

Coming Feb 2012

Water Fight

I have 10 more days of actual teaching left before a long-awaited summer break. I have Alice Cooper's classic "School's Out For Summer" ready to be played the moment my students take my final exam and exit my classroom.

Despite the difficulties of this year--and there have been many, let me assure you-- it has been a wonderful growing experience for me.

One of the best days ever happened just this last Thursday. We had a school-wide water fight. Yes, you heard me, a teacher planned, school wide water fight. Happens every year at this school.

At some point in the last 6 weeks of school, students will be standing outside on their afternoon break, waiting to go back to the last hour of class when all of the sudden, a teacher starts hosing hem down from the roof of the school. Teachers told me that I'd get completely soaked. They assured me it was great fun. Somehow students (many of whom I cannot stand) pelting me with water balloons and pouring buckets of water over my head didn't sound like much fun.

But, oh, how wrong I was.

I knew the waterfight was coming. I had luckily been forewarned by the lead teacher. SO I dressed in a way that is I was soaking wet (a) no one was getting a show and (b) my clothes would not be ruined. I pumped myself up for it that morning telling myslef it was just one more hoop to jump through. I was no looking forward to it.

But flash forward to when I suddenly had an arm full of water balloons, student were walking around oblivious having no idea what was about to befall them, and lo and behold, my favorite students were right there. I started pelting. I was amazing. Then they poured buckets of water over my head. It was so fun. I was dripping wet for an hour and half. Despite the crazy AZ summer heat, the students never let me get dry. It was amazing.

It broke down barriers. One students who has been DRIVING ME INSANE refused to get wet. In full revenge mode I sent about 15 girls armed with buckets of water after him. I really did feel better. Then he poured a bucket of water over my head. So dripping, I gave him a huge bear hug. Then suddenly, this kid who had legitimately made me want to punch walls and scream profanities was talking to me like I was his aunt, telling me about his health issues and what's going on in his life as we both stood there dripping. I told him about when I got my tonsils out (a procedure he might undergo) and how much it hurt. It was a beautiful moment.

I'll try and post pictures soon.

Sheryl = amazing

PLEASE check out my friends new spot on Mormon.org. I am proud to call her one of my besties.

The Other Night...

Our neighbors were fighting. While I don't like to eavesdrop, the amount of noise and angry swearing made us nervous there may be violence. So I put a cup to the wall and listened.

I know. Bad Erin. Then, when the guy went out the front door (visible from our peep hole) I too had to follow. I saw (through the door peephole) him shirtless, drunk, angry, and trying to take a huge couch down the stairs. It was a sort of I'm-drunk-and-crazed-I'm-leaving-and-taking-the-couch kind of move.

We live on the second floor so as he drug the couch down the stairs (ripping the couch in the process and creating enough noise to ensure that the entire complex was listening) she ran out after him, crying, and begging him to stay.

It was very noisy for a while and then it appeared that he left and she left shortly after. I wasn't quite sure, because the peephole only gave me so much visual information. But I wondered about the couch. There was NO WAY IN HECK that he could get that in a car by himself and leave. So shortly thereafter, I went outside and down the stairs to see if there was a couch in the middle of the parking lot. Instead I found two police cars instead of a couch.

I talked to them. Confessed that I was curious. Got some info. Apparently several people in the complex called the police. Then I went back upstairs.

SO THE NEXT MORNING at 4:30 am we heard the two of them (apparently they made up) trying to get the couch up the stairs. Had it not been spring break, I would have walked outside told them they were insanely rude and that people needed to wake up early to work. But since I wasn't one of those people, I stayed in bed and just got angry to myself instead. When James and I left the next morning for errands, the couch was halfway on the stairs, halfway on the walkway. We had to squeeze to get past. Hours later, it was still there.

So I decided I had had enough and went to the front office to tell on them. I walked in, and Rennee (the manager, whom I adore) comes out somberly from her office.

"So, you probably heard what happened last night."

She nods, still very somberly.

"Well, Mike still has yet to move the couch."

"Mike?" she said confused, "But they said it was YOU!"

Yes, so people in our complex thought the entire ruckus was caused by James and I. Apparently, they didn't look out their peepholes. And apparently, they really don't know my sweet James at all. If anyone was to be shirtless, crazed, and to angrily throw the couch down the stairs, it'd definitely be me.

So our question is: Do we knock on everyone's door and say "It wasn't me. It was THEM!" and point to apartment 232? Send out a flyer?

We have no idea.

Frozen

I think I may have given up on living just a little. Today at the grocery store, instead of the tons of produce I normally buy, I bought a bunch of frozen pizzas and frozen individual dinners. Szechwan chicken, spicy fajitas, and of course, salisbury steak. Sorta gross, but sorta necessary too if I want to feed my husband.

While I felt pathetic, life is just way too crazy to cook these days. I'm at work about 9 hours a day and then come home to plan and work as long as my eyes are open. It doesn't leave much time for cooking. In fact, it doesn't leave much time for anything (except complaining, which I excel at).

I've tried. In fact, I'll call James up and ask him how he'd feel about whole wheat pasta with a creamy homemade tomato garlic sauce, fresh parmesan chicken, and a nice salad with juicy grape tomatoes and my homemade balsamic vinaigrette. He'll get excited, quite naturally.

And then I'll call him up about 15 minutes before he's set to get home and enjoy the above meal and say, "I've just put a frozen pizza in the oven."

He's so sweet about it too. No complaints. He just happily eats whatever I give him (expect tofu pasta-- a mistake I will not repeat). I just hope I feel like cooking again one day.

Please, if you have easy and FAST recipes, please send them my way! erinthornhillreeder@gmail.com

I've Gone Private, Kids

After school a couple days ago a student asked me if I had read his comment on my blog. Jaw dropped and wide eyed, I turned around, ran straight to my computer and made my blog private. Sometimes I hate google. But only sometimes.

Disclaimer: The comment is sweet and full of errors for which I will take VERY LITTLE responsibility because I am, of course, his history teacher and not his English teacher. He may spell things wrong but he can tell you perfectly the causes of the Civel War and give detailed descriptions of the battles of Gettiesberg, Vixberg, and Bool Run. Just ask him.

Car

I got my car back yesterday. I finally feel like it's all over. Mostly.

On Friday, about 11 days ago, a kid (gang member) who I had written up for flagrant disrespect and disrupting my classroom was expelled permantently from the school. He was so angry that the principal called me and told me to keep my classroom door locked all day and not leave the building for a few hours. It was my prep day as school is only M-Th and kids come in Friday for make-up work. This kid showed up for make-up and was told he'd been written up and that it was the last straw. His stack of office refferals was too high and he was already on a behavior contract.

It was all a little intense and crazy. I called James and left a mssage telling him about my exciting mornng and that I had to be locked in the building. By the time he called me back, everything had changed. A couple hours after the incident, I went to my car, and found the handle ripped off & dents ALL OVER. I was stunned. Anger and then the tears. So many emotions. Fear being one of them.

The police came. I filed an insurance claim. I took my car in. Got a rental. Blah blah blah...

The weekend was crazy. I was afraid of what was going to come. Would this kid try anything else? Would my former gang bangers flip out and go shoot him? I was nervous to go back to school on Monday. I even had a dream that my rental had gotten vandalized and that one of my favorite kids was lying dead next to it. A bit scary.

Reality was that nothing happened. Teachers and staff kept it low key and so students dropped it quickly. I have gotten back into the groove of teaching and I really love the vast majority of my students. It's been so wonderful since then, actually. I just am extra careful when I get in and when I leave.

Pantless

My pants actually started coming off in front of my morning American History class on my 9th day of officially being a real life teacher. Needless to say, I've retired the pants. My husband told me after I shared the incident with him that he " always hated those pants" and that they were "way too baggy."

Thanks, James. Information that would have been helpful that very morning while getting dressed.

So I'm in class. By the way, my new job is teaching at a really awesome charter high school. It's a school full of former gang members, kids from crazy sad backgrounds, high poverty, all sorts of crazy business...and these kids are awesome. I love it. Challenging, but I leave everyday feeling like I make a real difference.

Anyways, it was jersey day for spirit week so I wore my Liverpool F.C. jersey, some old baggy trouser pants I've had for years (and loved) and red chuck taylors. These pants had previously given me trouble cause the zipper was starting to not stay up at all and I would constantly find my zipper wide open. A normal person would have retired those pants once this problem started, but clearly "normal" is not in my resume.

Well, I'm in class and all of the sudden my kids start dying. I mean, rolling on the floor laughing.

"Tell her man."

"You tell her."

SOmething no one wanted to tell me. Hmmm....the baggy pants...crap. I look down and not only is the zipper down, but the button is not fastened and me pants are actually falling down. One wrong move, they would have slipped right around my ankles.

I turned around amidst an uproar and zipped up and buttoned the pants realizing that (a) my entire class saw my g's and (b) that I really wasn't embarrassed at all. I was actually a little in awe of how NOT embarrassed I was.

I quickly just drove them on to the lesson and the next thing on the docket.

One student asked why I wore grandma underpants. I told him that I wasn't going to waste my sexy stuff on them.

I love my school!!!!!