Okay, that last post was a little depressing. Or a lot depressing. Things are better now. Eleanor had a 103-104 temp for 3 days and let me tell you--it was rough. She wouldn't eat anything. Then she got a crazy rash. Then James got sick, so he couldn't help at all with the girls. BUT Eleanor is pretty much better. She's eating and the rash is going away.

And seriously, Eadie (I think this is the spelling we've decided on) is THE BEST baby ever. She is an angel. She is a good eater and hardly ever cries. And breastfeeding is much much easier this time around. Eleanor was such a piranha and I had 6 weeks of serious pain. Despite having a rough time last week, I never hit the level of "completely delirious."

I hit that point about a week and half after I had Eleanor. After getting up for what felt like the billionth time (which is no picnic post-c-section) one night to feed Eleanor (who cried every 45 minutes during the night) I looked at my sweetly sleeping husband and wanted to put the pillow over his face. I knew then that I needed to start running the following day or my husband wasn't going to make it.

It's going to kill me to go back to work in August. But I have 2 months to enjoy my girls. And luckily, I'll just go back to teach 3 classes.

Speaking of Eadie, I should properly introduce my new little lady. Edith Virginia was born on May 17th at 7:54am via c-section. She weighed 6 lbs 12 oz and was 19.75 inches long and had a ton of lovely dark hair. How I love that hair!

This one was planned and not after 22 hours of labor (i.e. Eleanor) and the recovery has been so much better. It was pretty dang nerve-racking pre-surgery, but James did relaxation stuff with me and I just focused on my breathing so I didn't FREAK OUT COMPLETELY. All in all, a much better experience. The hospital was so enjoyable. It was nice to just get to know my little Eadie. Since she was not at all planned and I was occupied with a busy toddler and working literally up until 36 hours before giving birth, it was like I had not grasped that there was a little person inside me. Hearing her cry for the 1st time was a very sweet experience. She was real. Not just 2 lines I did not expect to see on a birth control test.

Eleanor is adjusting reasonably well to a new person in the house. She will say "Hi, baby!" and then just ignore her. I can't believe I have two little girls.

 

Having kids 14 months apart is hard. Especially when one has a temp of 104 for 2 days and wont eat or drink anything (Eleanor) and the other has pink eye, jaundice, and funky breathing patterns (Edie). All the while, I have a UTI, am engorged, have a suspicious lump in my arm pit, the most heinous cold sore you have ever seen (it's consuming my chin now and my husband wont kiss me), and recovering from a c-section while my husband is so stressed and overwhelmed from work, I might as well be a single parent.

Does this sound like complaining? It should, because I am. This is hard. I am no Xena warrior princess mamma.

Re-covered Car Seat

I'm not going to lie. I'm pretty pleased with myself. Other than working full-time, keeping my child alive, not murdering my husband, and managing to cook sometimes, my accomplishments during this pregnancy have been minimal. While I was so productive during my pregnancy with E--sewing, knitting and crocheting up a storm--I've created NOTHING this entire pregnancy. "Nesting" has been replaced with practical planning. That is until this weekend.

Since E is 13 months and tiny and we are just a few weeks away from bringing little J into this world, we knew we needed another infant car seat. At 17 lbs, E is nowhere big enough to even contemplate a front-facing seat. However, we really didn't want to buy another infant seat for just 6-8 months of use considering our finances. Luckily for us, a former work colleague offered us a car seat and crib that their youngest was just out-growing. Big win!!!

As you can see, the seat was well-worn. While still perfectly functional, I wanted to clean it up--and I did. I took it all apart, and in doing so, I decided that I'd use some houndstooth fabric I bought at the thrift store a few weeks ago (4 yds for $2.99---wahoo!) to recover the seat. I knew it'd be a big undertaking, but my very dormant creative juices needed an outlet. So this weekend, amidst all three of us being sick (our new life since E has started going to daycare), I decided to make this thing happen.

Here's the before pics:

 You can see that it was pretty worn and dirty. I decided that simply washing it in the washing machine wasn't going to satisfy me.

  So all I really did was take apart each little piece of fabric with a seam ripper. That was BY FAR, the most time consuming part. At the recommendation of another blog I saw about recovering carseats, I took pictures as I did it in order to know how to put everything back together. Then, I made matching pieces in the new fabric and sewed it all back up! I sewed the original padding onto my new fabric. My friend gave it to us sans shoulder pads, but I made some because I don't want the straps rubbing into to E's skin. I also washed the straps and all the little fixtures in soapy water. In all, the conversion cost about $10 total. Not bad for a new car seat!

 ALL CLEAN!!!

Other than needing to make about 50 zillion freezer meals before my May 17th c-section, we are almost ready for another little one! Physically, that is. Emotionally and mentally ready for 2 kids 14 months apart? Not a chance.

Eleanor's 1st Birthday

Oh my heavens, it's been a while since I've blogged. And, boy howdy, has life moved along quickly since then.

1) First off, we got Netflix. We're pretty much behind everyone else when it comes to technology. Our phones don't go on the internet and our TV gets 3 channels. On a good day. So our commitment to Netflix was no small thing. So far, we're loving it and are wondering why we didn't do this sooner. Eleanor LOVES Yo Gabba Gabba, and we can get access to it 24/7. I know I vowed that my child wouldn't watch TV, but that was before I had a child. The reality is Yo Gabba Gabba has saved my life many times. It calms her down and even makes her eat food. She's almost a year and isn't even 17 lbs yet. We try anything to get her to eat. For a few weeks, she flat out refused to eat anything.

But, if DJ Lance Rock is on screen, she zones out, her jaw drops, and she'll eat whatever we give her as she stares at the screen. I kid you not.

We've also been enjoying a variety of TV shows like Freaks and Geeks, Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Twin Peaks, and 30 Rock. It's been awesome.

2) We bought a house. It's great. I park in a garage. We have a guest bathroom, a piano in the front room, and a room for my sewing and James' music equipment.  Downside: We don't know how to fix or repair anything.

3) We got pregnant again. I know. A mom in my new ward asked privately "How exactly does that happen?"after I mentioned that it was "not on purpose." My answer: Birth control doesn't always work.   So there you go. Oh man, it feels as though I've been pregnant forever. I ran into the mom of a girl I grew up with and she was like "Oh, I heard you were pregnant with your first!" I then sheepishly explained that I gave birth to my 1st and managed to get pregnant before she went onto solid foods and that this baby bump would be her little sister. I'm due end of May. They'll be just shy of 15 months apart. If I think about it too much, I start freaking out and have to focus on breathing deeply.

4) Due to number 3 (see above) and our needs as a family, I went back to work in the classroom. Teaching high school French. HUGE BLESSING. I love it. For the most part. It's hard not to be there all day with little E, but when I am with her, I can focus on her 100%. When I was teaching online from home, that wasn't the case at all. Life actually feels more balanced right now. We've got a great sitter. And I only work 6.5 hours a day, but get full benefits and all summer off. I work in the same district as J now so we have the same school breaks.

people are bad

While I really wanted to post about my new serger and the fabulous world it has opened for me, sadly, I have a tale of woe and a word of caution to pass on. Garlic cheesy biscuit in hand (needed a little comfort food given the day I've had) I'm prepared to embark on my sad journey.

The joys of serging will be forthcoming.

Money is tight for most people these days. If it's not for you, good for you cause every day must be Christmas, but for the rest of us, we need every little bit in order to pay bills, diaper our children, and eat.

If your employer was sending you a check, and you are like most people, you can be sure that you'd be looking forward to it. Standing by the mailbox, even. And I was. Trust me. I'm a teacher. Our pay has been frozen since 2008 (and it wasn't that much to begin with).

A paycheck from my employer (301 money for all you educators out there) was sent through the mail. Normally, all my checks are direct deposit, yet this particular one was a live check and my employer sent it throughout the mail rather than contact me to pick it up. It was stolen out of the mail (or out of my employers office) and cashed. A check for $923.15.

I found this out this morning from my employer as I was inquiring about the check I had been expecting for weeks now. She called her bank to find out what happened. Initially, everyone--my employer, her bank, and the bank that cashed the check--refused to take responsibility.

My employer reassured me saying "This has never happened before. None of our checks have been stolen from the mail before. There's nothing I can do about this."

Wait a minute, this sounds familiar. OH WAIT, I heard all this before when in my 3rd week teaching at said school, a student took out a whole lotta rage on Mazda3. She said the same thing. This never happens and there is nothing she can do to help me. Luckily, I'm no pushover and I was not about to let over $900 that I earned while keeping teenagers from committing felonies slip through my fingers.

After 2 visits to different banks, dealing with about 5 bankers, making about 10 phone calls, and breaking down into tears at the Bank of America and sobbing to the banker about my crying 4 month old at home, trying to buy a home, and sad story I read in the news (hormones suck), I finally got somewhere.

 I found out that the person deposited it into their own account through an ATM. The person banks with Wells Fargo---as do I---and was able to deposit it. Ironically, once we knew the check was cashed but before we knew which bank cashed it, we went to our bank, Wells Fargo, to ask about what they recommended for us to do. They spoke about how the bank that cashed it should take responsibility and by the way could we interest in you in fraud protection. Well, turns out we need protection from Wells Fargo's ineptitude.

Long story short--and trust me, it's long--I should be able to get the money. My employer has to file a claim through the bank that issued the check. They then will have to go after the money from Wells Fargo. They will then give my employer the money back and she can then re-issue the check. But that wasn't enough for me.

I filed a police report because I want the jerk to pay and I would like to stop said person from doing this again. The police officer came, took down our info and gave us some bad news. Basically, this happens ALL the time and the fraud detectives are buried under thousands of claims. People actually follow around the postal delivery workers to steal mail from unlocked mailboxes. Also, banks usually refuse to hand over any information to the police unless subpoenas (usually issued by a judge) are involved forcing them to hand it over. Wells Fargo straight up told me they know exactly who did it because they deposited my check into their account, but that the info was confidential and they would not give it to me. The officer told me that if he walked in, badge and all, they would do the same thing. Police request fraud info from banks and rarely get it without extensive legal action.

The take home for me all you folks:

1.) Banks are kind of evil. 

2.) People are bad and they can and will steal your mail.

3.) It's easy to commit fraud using ATMs. People can deposit checks using ATMS without even needing any information about the person to whom the check is actually written. They will get away with it from the banks unless you go in and freak out on them.

4.) The po-po's can't do much. Fraud is so rampant that unless it's a huge amount of money, the police's hands are tied. Banks will not actually give the police information about people THEY KNOW are thieves without a subpoena and police CAN'T get subpoenas for everything given the sheer amount of fraud. Banks would rather pay out the cost of the fraud than take more money and time to stop them.

Be careful, guys.

P90X

I've just started my 3rd week of P90X. Weight lost: ZERO POUNDS. But hey, apparently I look better. At church on Sunday, a lady in her 80s commented on how I lost all my pregnancy weight. I responded that, alas, there was 10 lbs that refused to budge. I blamed breastfeeding (but all those DQ Blizzards can't be helping). 

"Well," she said, "the rear looks just darling!!!" 

So yes, I felt pretty dang good after that, 10 lbs and all. But good grief, I've never had such a hard time losing weight! I am loving P90X, though. It's intense and awesome. I'll keep you updated. 

But having my stomach stretched like pizza dough was worth it for this little lady.

 She's turning over both ways and is SUPER active. I'm gearing up for her to be all over the place. 

 Oh my gosh, don't you love that face?

If you'd like to cry a little...

...just watch this video. I admit, I pretty much always cry when watching soldier coming home videos. But I don't know if it's being a mom or what, cause I was crying even before the video came up. The title alone drove me to tears.

Watch. And tear up.

Cold Case

Here's some updated pictures of my little lady. She's adorable and is just a little miracle.

In other news, I've been watching a lot of TV these last 8 weeks of Eleanor's life. I guess that just happens when you're suddenly home all day spending hours nursing. I've become totally obsessed a few programs. Like Dr. Drew's Lifechangers. Obsessed. I love Dr. Drew. I also think Kelly Ripa is adorable. I have a few guilty pleasures like Cheaters. Oh my heavens, that show is awful. Awfully awesome. It's basically a bunch of trashy people who suspect their significant other of cheating so they send out private detectives to see. Well, spoiler alert, they're always cheating and it's usually someone particularly gross. Like I need to wash my hands after just watching them. Then they catch them in the act and confront them with a camera crew and Joey Greco. Punches, swearing, and tears inevitably follow. It's 30 minutes of trashy fun. 

But my all-time favorite new show is Cold Case Files. They are real cold cases that get solved and serial rapists and kidnappers from the 70s end up in prison. It's making me a scary parent.  Like, I automatically assume everyone is a serial killer. Like the old people on walks while I push El in the stroller on runs--all drug pushers and serial killers. I swear, I'm never letting Eleanor out of my sight.

So in Love

Okay, I could hardly help it. She is just so darn adorable. Just a few more pics. I just can't get over how fabulous she is. And don't hate, you other mothers out there, but she is a ridiculously good baby. I fear having more children who are less lovely and easy to take care of.

Our little Nora

I said I'd update once I started wearing clothes again. Well, I haven't. Though I did actually manage to put a bra on halfway through my mom's visit today, so there's been improvement. With a c-section incision and breastfeeding for the first time, it's been a struggle to wear much of anything.

Well, without going into many details (because I know I certainly don't care about all the details of other people's births) I'll briefly outline our little adventure that brought baby Eleanor home to us. Man, I love that little lady.

Here I am at about 2:30am Tuesday the 28th. We're about to go into the hospital to be induced. This was the last time I was fully dressed.

I reacted really badly to the IV (heart rate and blood pressure plummeted) so they had to wait til 6:00 to start the pitocin. It was the worst vagal response my nurse had seen in a healthy adult. I felt ridiculous. My nurse worried the epidural would do me in. But it didn't. Twenty-two hours later, after not having a progressing labor (I've inherited some body parts that don't work well with labor, hence this ending up a 3rd generation c-section) I went in just after 4 am on Leap Day for a c-section.

The c-section was scary. Not going to lie. And it was really hard to be the last to see and hold my sweet little baby. I had started shaking because of hormones about 30 minutes before the surgery and was shaking horribly through the entire thing.

After getting stitched up really quickly, I was whisked away to post-op where my little peanut breast-fed like a champ. Anyone who says that epidurals and medically assisted (c-section) labor do not produce babies who latch on and suck is beyond ridiculous. I was pumped so full of crap and that little miracle got to work right away--the nurses said she was easily a better nurser than 85% of babies they see born. So there. Since then, she's wreaked absolute havoc in my nipples. TMI, maybe. But really. Painful. We've since had a heart-to-heart and she's being kinder to them. Or perhaps she's destroyed the nerve-endings.

Here are some more pics. We need more of them while she's awake. But I promise not to put up too many. Cross my heart.

Hello World

Eleanor Maxine Reeder, 6 lbs 10 oz born 4:18am (after 22 hours of labor) via c-section on Leap Day! I am so very in love with this girl. I love the pic of her coming out. It's like she is saying "Hello World! Here I am!" I'll do a better update once I am feeling more with it (i.e. actually wear clothes again). Though the delivery was a bit crazy, it was so worth everything. Oh my heavens, I love being a mom. I have hardly slept for almost a week and I don't even care. I WANT to be sleep deprived if it means I get to take care of my little sweetheart. I know, it's a little sick how cheesy I've gotten. No really, it is. But I don't care.

Happy daddy just after delivery. He held her before I did. That was hard. At this moment, I was being sewn back up and was strapped to a table and getting demoral injections because I was shaking so much. I met up with them a little later.
Eleanor's 1st pic. I couldn't see a thing. I just heard "Oh, she is so tiny!" and "She is beautiful and has so much hair!" I cried (tears of joy) when I heard her first cries. Shaking, scared, and so very happy. Hormones are weird.

Deliverance

Being 37 weeks pregnant means I've had a lot of people touching my belly. And to be quite frank, it hasn't bothered me at all. Friends do it, ward members, family, my students...and it doesn't bug me. When I see pregnant belly (well, before being pregnant) I want to rub it. I think it's human nature. So it hasn't bugged me...until my strange neighbor stopped me and started REALLY rubbing my belly. Usually, people ask to rub, then just rub it a little in the middle for a second or two and leave smiling. This lady rubbed ALL OVER and wouldn't stop til I backed away. And she didn't ask. Sorta strange.

But not as strange as the interaction I had with her EVEN MORE odd husband this afternoon. I rarely see him. He is a short, stubby, 60-something guy that is usually holed up smoking various things in his apartment. In fact, the only times I'd seen him before was smoking on his balcony staring at people and walking his dog at 3:00am.

Today, he asked how the pregnancy was going. He also offered to deliver the baby. Yes. Deliver the baby.

Joys of Teaching

Strangely enough, I've actually really been enjoying my last several weeks of teaching before baby Eleanor finally arrives. Well, everything but the constant smell of pot coming from the kids in my morning class. With pregnancy hormones further fine-tuning my already keen sense of smell, I can basically tell people what they had for breakfast with 98% accuracy. The last 3 weeks have been obnoxious as nearly every morning, someone comes in reeking of reefer. Instead of doing what I wanted (call out the entire class and shame them endlessly for forcing such foulness on a pregnant woman, I instead pulled aside the likely culprits. Yes culprits. There are multiple students who would rather wake up early and get high than sleep in 15 more minutes. I really don't get that. Well, the smell got better, and even had 2 days in a row without pot smell. But then came yesterday. Schmelly central.

Near the end of class, I mentioned that I only had 2 weeks left and in the general moans, students expressed a desire to put on a baby shower for me. I saw an opportunity and took it.

"What would you get my baby?" I asked, perplexed. "She can't smoke pot."

The class gasped unanimously.

"Oh, you guys think I can't smell it on you everyday? Seriously guys," I said pointing to my nose, "this thing smells everything."

I then starred directly, one at a time, at about 4 students who all shrunk before me.

"Guys, I'm pregnant. Really, I'm not going to preach to you about screwing up your lives, but please don't disrespect me and make me and my baby breathe in that stuff. I love you guys, but really? Come on."

Class=Chastened

A few students hung back after class to give personal apologies. I don't think they had realized they carry the smell with them. Hopefully, my last 2 weeks brings cleaner air. Here's to hoping...

I really do love them, though. And I will miss them. I will miss teaching in the classroom (looks like I'll be teaching online post-baby). I will miss getting my kids who've always hated school riveted with The French Revolution, The Civil War, and Magna Carta. Yeah, Magna Carta. I know. Weird, right? I will miss starting debate on whether the A-bomb should have been dropped on Hiroshima and students on both sides of the aisle getting fired up.

I will miss thug guys coming in to my class at 20 years old, 3 high school credits and forcing them to wear sparkly stickers that say "good job!" on them when they do well on assignments and then threatening them if they don't keep it on all day long.

I'll miss seeing those same thugs not only getting the first "A" in their life, but having the highest grade in my class because they suddenly realized that they actually could. I will miss seeing kids turn their lives around.

Sure my kids look like this:

And not this:

But I wouldn't have it any other way.

I thought that I'd be ready to kill students my last weeks teaching, but I'm not. Don't get me wrong, I'm uncomfortable. And tired. And I have to pee ALL THE TIME. But it's like I'm trying to cram in everything I'm going to miss. I'm even adding to my curriculum this next week (I have 2 weeks left officially). I'm showing them Manchurian Candidate (the original one with Sinatra and Lansbury) after our extensive study of the Cold War. I have pretty bright students and I finally feel that I have a class whose minds will be blown entirely by this film. I love blowing minds. But I'd rather blow them with Manchurian Candidate than by telling them that "New England" is not it's own country, but actually part of the US (True story. Sad story. Needless to say, I incorporated map activities and quizzes into my curriculum after that day). Anyways, so excited about introducing them not only to a brilliant movie, but also Angela Lansbury, the embodiment of fabulous.

I guess I feel like I've really got this stuff (teaching history to low-SES, high risk teens) down and suddenly I'm going to be devoting my life to doing something about which I AM CLUELESS minus all the books I've been reading about infant care. That wobbly head thing still scares me. I'm told that "holding a baby is natural" but it still freaks me out a bit. And diaper blow-outs? I can't even wrap my head around that.

3d Ultrasound

I always vowed that I would not be one who just blogs about my kids and puts up pictures of my kids and talks about how cute and wonderful my kids are. But considering I'm not even a parent yet and what follows, I'm off to a really bad start.

I just had a 3d ultrasound and I have to say, despite not entirely clear images, I am convinced my child is going to be so stinking adorable. I'll admit, I was nervous that my kid might end up funny looking. I mean, we've all seen newborns that look more alien than gerber baby. But my 30 week old babe is so downright gorgeous. I know. Biased. But look at her chubby cheeks (which will no doubt plump up further) and her button nose! I also think she has James' gorgeous plump lips. If she gets his blue eyes, forget about it. She'll kill me with cuteness.

Here she is sucking her thumb with her other fingers spread across her face. I'm praying this means her sucking instinct is fabulous and that she'll be a good latcher AND also a self-soother.

While we're on the subject, how weird is that that we can see facial features before our babies are even born? Do you think it's cheating? James sort of does. And I get that. But frankly, it warms my heart to unreal degrees to see the little thing that's been kicking my ribs incessantly and giving he crazy acid reflux 24/7. It makes all those uncomfortable things so worth it and makes me not so freaked out about childbirth (and there is plenty to freak out about--google is not your friend when you're pregnant) because I'll get to meet her.

29 weeks

While I try and avoid putting up pictures that make me look like a beached whale, I have to say that being pregnant makes it IMPOSSIBLE to put up pictures at all with such limitations. So for all who'd like to see me preggo, here goes:

Yeah, those would be my ONLY pair of maternity pants. I thought I'd get away with doing stuff like this:

And I did for a while until I stretched the hair ties to the limit and felt like my pants were about to cut me in half. I then pretty much relied on dresses and skirts until it actually FINALLY got cold here. Then I was stuck wearing running tights underneath my dresses. I've become really cheap and the thought of buying any more maternity clothes does not make me happy. But I am really getting sick of wearing the same things. But I broke down and bought a pair of pants. It's been HEAVEN. I wonder why I waited. That big ol' elastic band is nothing short of miraculous.

Here's a close up of the belly. The stripes aren't doing anything for me, I know. When I wear this shirt my students always say it makes them hungry for peppermint.

Highlights

This last week has been great for a number of reasons.

REASON #1: WE STARTED CHRISTMAS

I know, it's a little early. But why put a time limit on joy and happiness? It's been months of negotiation to work out November as the legal time frame to begin Christmas celebration. I was shooting for October, but James shot that down pretty quickly. Halloween apparently deserves the whole month. [eye roll]

While he did bend quite a bit for November, he's since really come around as the sound of Christmas music in the air just makes one merry. Our tree is up and decorated, and we have watch "Elf," "A Christmas Story," and the classic "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" (cartoon version, OF COURSE). We're pretty happy people these days.

Yesterday evening, I listened to Christmas music on my run and it was PURE MAGIC. It was like running on sugar plums and dreams. I kept looking around the neighborhoods and expecting to see Christmas lights, but I'll still have to wait a few weeks. Not everyone feels as festive and I do.

REASON #2: IT'S FINALLY COLD HERE

I actually have to turn the car heater on in the morning on my work. The BEST. It's even been rainy this week, which is seriously magical. This summer was very painful. One of the hottest on record paired with crazy morning sickness = really unhappy and crazy Erin. I wanted to punch the brutal AZ sun in the face.

REASON #3: FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS, I'M PROUD TO BE FROM AZ

Yesterday, citizens of AZ district 18 voted to oust the bigoted and corrupt politician, Russell Pearce. I can't go into all the reasons without having my blood pressure go through the roof, but here are a few resources if you want to know why he is bad news:

http://www.azcentral.com/video/1215608827001

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrHDlUNomLY

He made me sad.

REASON #4: I'M FEELING THE BABY KICK A LOT

Which is just super fun. And kind of weird, too. But more fun and reassuring than weird. I am a worrier by nature so it's really nice to have this constant reassurance that baby is there and doing well.

As a side note, this is the toughest guy I think I've ever heard of. He tells the story of what he just went through totally straight-faced, but then chokes up when he talks about how his predicament could have endangered someone else. What a stud.

End of an era

After more than 4 years, I've decided to leave facebook. I'd been contemplating the move for over 2 years after hearing a talk by Elder Bednar at a CES fireside, but it's taken a while for me to come around. One friend immediately left facebook after the talk, but I just wasn't ready to give it up. In fact, I thought she was insane. However, since that time, I've realized that it's time to say goodbye.

Maybe it's being pregnant and feeling the sense of change that's about to occur that has prompted me to move on and "re-fresh" things. I guess I just realized that facebook doesn't add to my life in any way. One thing that kept me from making this move was staying in touch with friends around the world I've collected over the years through university, the mission, and my internship in Israel. However, I realized that though we are facebook friends, we certainly are not "in touch" with one another. It's a false sense of closeness.

Here are some of my reasons, in no particular order:

1.) It is a complete waste of time (in my oh-so-humble-opinion). Okay, maybe it is appropriate that this in number 1 because even though I don't spend much time on facebook, every second that I do is a second that I can't get back and has added nothing to my life. That's the major issue for me--IT ADDS NOTHING TO MY LIFE.

2.) I don't care what [most] people ate for lunch/are going to do this weekend/think of Obama/want to happen at the game tonight. Unless that burrito was particularly delicious and you are bringing to my doorstep, call me calloused, but I don't really care. I don't need to know what crosses people's minds all day. I can barely register what is crossing my own all day. While knowing the minutuae of other peoples' lives may interest some, it adds nothing to my life or relationships. I also tire of what I perceive to be close-minded (sometimes uneducated) political rants. I don't see much fruitful political dialogue on facebook. It's either bashing or compatriot back-patting. The closemindedness that I see on facebook (from all political ideologies) actually frusterates me a great deal.

3.) For me, facebook is a communication catch-22. Because of the [lack of] privacy settings, I'm hesitant to post anything. I rarely post pictures anymore or post on people's walls, photos, etc because I don't want my business broadcast to everyone. But the whole purpose of facebook is to communicate and stay in touch, right? Instead, I feel like Jimmy Stewart in Rear Window, a voyeur watching the mundane lives of unsuspecting neighbors.

Now I admit that I have found it fun to look through people's photos and see what they are doing these days, however, it's a false sense of being "in touch." While I view happenings in friends lives, I am really no closer to them nor have I built my relationship with them. In this age of information overload, I feel that I am overloaded on people's lives without really being in their lives or having them part of mine.

4.) I've instead decided to focus on building relationships with people I am in touch with. I've decided to spend more time making phone calls, sending e-mails, and yes, blogging. I also plan on staying up with the blogs of people in my life. So expect lots and lots of posts. I'd rather have fewer real friends than 853 pseudo-friends.

Once I made the decision, I've actually been SUPER excited. It feels like rearranging my bedroom furniture or getting a brand-new hairstyle. I wont have my account officially deleted for a few days because I want to make sure I can get in touch with the handful of people who don't have my e-mail or blog info and who I would like to stay in touch with. Once I delete my page, every trace of my facebook presence will be erased. At least that's what facebook has said...

So stay tuned for regular posts!

I'll be fine when the weather cools off

I know, it's about time I posted. The problem is that once you've gone forever without posting, you feel the need to have something ultra important to say, or else it's not worth breaking the silence. And let's be honest, I rarely have anything important to say.

A lot has happened. Here is a basic update with several random thoughts and interjections:

I'm pregnant, which was hopefully obvious by the last post. I'm 22 weeks along, feeling good (though chubby).

Just a side note to people: Please be careful what you say to a pregnant woman. Saying "Oh, you don't look pregnant at all!" when they can no longer fit in any of their clothes and have found stretch marks on their belly is just saying "Oh, you always look fat!"

Also, do not comment on facebook photos from a pregnant girl's honeymoon about the "cute baby bump" that she has. It's not a baby bump. She was a year and a half from a baby bump. It was a fat bump or possibly a food bump.

Luckily, I have a very kind and loving husband who does a good job at soothing the blows people ignorantly pass out. He'll even turn around immediately after walking in the door from work to get me ice cream when the first words I say as he enters are "Baby needs Breyer's Mint Choco Chip." Maybe he's an enabler. But I call that a good husband.

I've continued running through my pregnancy which has been WONDERFUL. I had to wait till

the fires of hell stopped burning in AZ (i.e. AZ summer) to start back up in earnest, but now that the temperature is finally under 100 degrees, I try a run a few times a week. I go at a slow pace, but it feels so good to be running. I'm also running in the vibram 5-fingers which I highly recommend. I'll have to do a post on minimalist running soon. I'm really a fan. I think I've decided to run another marathon. Every time I run one, I tell myself that I will NEVER EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES succumb to the pull of the 26.2, but I think I might put aside that promise and go for it. I think I keep telling myself that maybe one day, they wont hurt like crazy. I'm probably fooling myself.

In any case, I need something to force me into really great shape post-baby. James already said he'd do a 10k with me next May. Then I'll do a half-marathon in the Fall (best distance ever) and go for a full enchilada early 2013. Maybe the Phoenix Rock'n Roll.

Anyone interested in doing a early 2013 marathon? Anyone? Bueller? I'm not opposed to some traveling.

This is the sexy maternity belt I wear while running to keep my paunch from bouncing around so much.

Maternity belt + 5-finger shoes = weirdest looking runner on the canal.

By the way, James has been miraculous through this whole pregnancy thing. He goes running with me. And he doesn't like running. Despite being fat and pregnant, I still beat him running and his ego takes it, no problem. While he does many things much better than I (e.g. cleaning, being nice, organizing, waking up early, keeping his cool under pressure), he has no problem when I do something better than him. Just yesterday, some speed walking ladies were giving him a hard time saying "Pick up the pace! Your wife an baby just smoked you!"

While the normal guy would feel bruised and either kill himself running just to beat you (because many men can't handle being beaten athletically by a girl), or never run with you ever again, he just responded with his big smile "I'm just here for moral support! She's the runner, not me!" I love that man.

Here he is before presenting some research from his doctorate at a conference in San Francisco. The glare on the picture is funny. I'm not photographically gifted. We can add that to the list of things he does better than me.

As for work, I'm still teaching at the alternative high school. So basically, my life is like Michelle Pfeiffer's in Dangerous Minds except I don't give them candy or teach them karate. I make them learn about history and to not talk when I talk. I also don't let them pee whenever they want because as far as I'm concerned, if I can hold it with a baby bouncing on my bladder, so can they. It's my second year there and I'll be finishing this year in February with my maternity leave. It's been a really wonderful growing experience and I know I've been able to do a lot of good, but I'm not sure I've got another year in me at this school. That kind of makes me feel like a failure, but I've got to be realistic.

It's been the most emotionally and physically draining, time-consuming, and intense thing I've ever attempted. You can't do this job without being ready to give give give. Your time is pretty much owned by the school--the administration (an inspired bunch--the school really is amazing) demands it. But frankly, after having a baby, I don't know that I'll be able to give that much anymore. I'm looking for something part-time and a bit more low-key after the baby. We'll see how things shake out. James is ready for me to be done at my school. Ever since my 3rd week there and some kid took out his rage in the form of $2000 a damage to my car, James has been concerned for my safety. I'd be lying if I said I was never concerned. I love the kids I teach, but most of them are heavily involved in drugs and I don't trust anyone's judgement and actions when under the influence. And at least half my kids are gang-affiliated. I hate gangs. I mean, nobody "likes" them, but it makes me livid to see what they do to these poor, bright, kids who feel like they don't have options.

So we'll see how things shake out for me. My baby will come first and I only want to do something part time. I'd love to get into non-profit work as a museum-school group liaison or something. We'll see. Open to suggestions.

Coming Feb 2012