Dying of thirst

I'm trying a new little experiment, so if I die, you know why.

When I arrived here in Israel, my hosts told me that I could definitely NOT drink the tap water. This, I've been told many times before. In France, in NYC, and a handful of other places inhabited by snobs who don't like a residue in their mouth after taking a sip of their city's finest. The problem is I drink my weight in water and it's a serious drain on resources to be drinking only bottled. Plus, I grew up drinking Arizona tap water. So I usually listen to these suggestions, thank them, then proceed to chug the local tap. 

In France, my companions assured me that drinking the tap was like begging for intestinal problems bringing pain worse that kidney stones. I drank away. In NY, Sheryl watched me with a look of absolute disgust as I drank the "flavorful" water of her current home. 

When I say I drink a lot of water, I mean I can really put it away. In high school I entertained friends by drinking a whole gallon of water in under a minute. I always carried a massive water bottle that I was constantly filling and emptying in order to fill my insatiable thirst. Once as a chemistry TA in high school (I know, hard to believe) I showcased my skills to the chemistry teaching staff. One former-frat boy in the bunch exclaimed "Add some alcohol to that and, girl, you could make some serious money!" That got my wheels turning. Alcohol, never, but putting my skills to work in my favor.

One time, I was at a friends house and we were playing UNO. I had just finished my Taco Bell and decided we should make the game more interesting in way that I could use my skills t my advantage. We decided that the biggest loser in each round had to drink a quarter of a gallon of water.  I was confident the others would fold long before I. However, I forgotto take into account that while I was pro at drinking water, I suck at about every game known to man. I've learned to hate them and stay away, but I was in high school and didn't know how bad I was. That being said, I ended up the loser 4 times out of the first 5 rounds. This time, things didn't sit well. I blame Taco Bell. Five minutes later I was in the bathroom barfing up my soft taco and burrito supreme. I felt horribly so I just threw in the towel and went home completely dejected and queasy. Upon entering the house, my parents acted with concern, seeing that I didn't look so great. I told them what happened, the whole story--Taco Bell, Uno, lots of water, and the violent up-chucking--and they just sort of stared at me, shocked into silence, perhaps. I had just ralphed my intestines and they just stared.  My mom started in with a skeptical look.

"Let me get this straight. You ate a bunch of Taco Bell, then, for kicks, drank a gallon of water? Are you an idiot?" My father just looked at me with a pain in his eyes as he realized that his smart, outgoing daughter was, in fact, a complete moron. If sympathy was what I had expected, I was sorely disappointed.

Anyways, I've always drank a lot of water, and with that one exception, I could really hold my H2O. 

Which brings me to Israel. My hosts were adamant that the water was undrinkable. Probably just a bad taste, I  thought. But then I go on-line and find articles about serious issues with dangerously high ammonia levels in Tel-Aviv's tap water. The government issued a statement strongly urging citizens to not even cook with the tap water. The water was declared "unfit for human consumption."

So I've been drinking bottled, needless to say, that is, until I read some other things online that insinuated that the problem was temporary and that it was to be remedied within 6 months of the local water scare. That was a year ago, so I'm fine right? 

I just drank 32 oz of the tap, so if it's unfit, I guess we'll know soon, eh? 

If only my father knew. It'd be just like high school again with me walking in after the UNO experience to his pained eyes, looking on at his defective offspring and wondering where he went wrong.