It's not what you know, it's who you pretend to be

This I am learning to be quite true. It's all about owning it and people will take you seriously. If you act important and like you know what you are talking about, people will just believe you.

I've felt horribly inadequate the last week and a half. I felt like a 4th grader trying to fit in at the freshman dorms. I don't know the lingo, I feel so young, inexperienced and ignorant. I thought I knew bit of something, but apparently, I was horribly mistaken. I've been thrown into a world of incredibly accomplished, successful, and prominent people who seem to know everything. And then here I am, I just graduated from the couch to a real bed, I don't own a set of silverware or dishes, and I have no clue what people are saying half the time. I've felt out of place in my new settings.

But that all changed today. 

First off, it's been an intense day. I know I'm a pretty intense person, for the most part, but it was just a different ball game today. Little League to the Majors. I was on the phone with several of the CEOs of the top banks here in Israel recruiting for seminar at the ambassadors residence. I've learned how to call the main number of the bank and work my way up to talking to the CEO. Scary, but validating. And it's all about BSing and sounding important. Yes, I am with the US embassy and I am extending a special invitation to the US Ambassador's residence just for you Mr. Tennenbaum. Aren't you lucky. All true, really. He doesn't have to know I'm a lowly intern using the phone by a vacant desk. If I act important, I am important. Seriously, it's amazing. Say things like "Hi, this is Erin Thornhill from the US embassy and I need to speak with Mr. Feldman, the CEO" and people are pretty accomodating. And if they aren't, they clearly didn't understand me correctly. U-S E-M-B-A-S-S-Y. Sometimes their English isn't so great, but I forgive them.    

So tonight was the olympic event showcasing my ability to act like I know what I'm doing when I really have no idea. I attended my first reception at the US ambassador's residence. Delta added a new flight and it's been quite a publicity affair. The house was incredible. Did I say house? Mansion would better describe that place. John had wrangled me an invitation as part of my "education," so I got to accompany him (he's such an amazing man and he's really taken me under his wing--I really owe him big). But since he is a senior officer, he assured me that he would basically be ditching me but that Karen (his personal assistant) would tell me what to do. Well, Karen was ill and it was just Nitzan, the driver, and I. I'm getting strange vibes from him and I either needed to tell him that I just don't date white guys or get very busy mingling with other people. So I did, and it was liberating. I was talking to the heads of companies, the big wigs at the embassy, the ambassador himself...I liked to leave out the intern part and just leave it at "Erin Thornhill from the US embassy, commercial services." I acted like I knew what I was doing and people believed me. People will believe anything. 

So I basically feel like a young debutant who just came home from my first ball, all dreamy-eyed and optimistic. Except instead of dreaming about the handsome young men right now, I'm dreaming about how I can one day belong at such an event and know loads of people. I've had a piece of this life and I really like the taste of it. I feel much more confident in this world than I did before. I even think I got sorta picked up on by this good-looking executive. He was older, but a very Robert Redford kind of older. Say what you will--you may think that's gross--but that's fine by me. I have had crushes on professors at least as old as he was.