I'm guess I'm just not feeling that masochistic today.
But I have come to some incredible realizations and come to some conclusions. Firstly, I can't make everyone happy and not offend people no matter how hard I try. I can't convince people of truth if they refuse to believe/listen. It's impossible. This is probably pretty obvious stuff to all of you, but I've always felt deep down that if I was just a little (or a lot) better, I could really do it. I could make everyone happy and understand. If only I was just good enough.
Let me give you some examples. I'm a Mormon, okay. Loads of people will say that because I am a Mormon, I am not a Christian. In fact, they will say all sorts of stuff that is completely bogus and they will be completely convinced that they are correct and nothing will dissuade them from thinking what they think. While I am quite sure that I know much better about what I believe than another person, there are plenty of people who would continue to believe the bogus stuff and completely ignore me. I know this. I was a missionary and would talk to people who were convinced I believed one thing or another because they read it somewhere or someone told them, EVEN THOUGH I was standing before them, a real live Mormon, explaining that I did not believe that at all (and that it actually made me a little nauseous). People will think what they will.
I could say something about the conflict and try to stay as neutral as possible, but at the end of the day, there will be people on both sides who think I'm totally sympathizing with their enemy. So I can't please everyone. The real revelation is that I just don't really care anymore. Oh man, and it's such a relief. It's the most beautiful thing of it all.
People can think and do what they will and it just can't influence my happiness or self-satisfaction (Ghela, I'm finally getting it!).
Also, I've decided that I don't sympathize with a certain side in this colossal mess. It's far too complicated to be black and white like that. Instead, all I can say is that I sympathize with the victims of hatred and am adamantly opposed to disregard for human life.
I am appalled and disgusted at Israeli school teachers who teach 10 year-olds to hate all Arabs, at gunmen who fire upon innocent children at a religious holiday celebration, at suicide bombers who kill innocent men, women, and children, at Israeli soldiers who force young devout muslim women to kiss them in order to pass a check point and subsequently face rejection from their community. On the other hand, I mourn with the families of the victims and the families of the suicide bombers who also lost a loved one. I mourn the suicide bombers themselves who are mostly just young desperate people poisoned by the nightmare that is their reality. I could go on. But I wont.
So that's what I've decided. And I don't care if someone hates me for it.
3 comments:
Hey there woman! My mom just told you about your blog, how's life there?
I just read your last one and I’m going to have to say that I agree with you. I’ve become rather disillusioned by my Middle Eastern Studies classes this last semester. All the talk of the Arab Israeli conflict and the deeply rooted issues of the Middle East has sort of led to me to this point where I’d almost rather not talk about it at all. Being called an anti-Semite for agreeing that the Israel lobby is extremely powerful in the U.S. has gotten a bit old as well. I’m tired of reading articles about, “The Roots of Muslim Rage” and how Islam pushes for radicalism. I think that it is coming to the point in this conflict where it no longer matters how it started or who’s at fault, but rather it should be more important to look at the cost of life and the damage being inflicted on those involved.
My opinion is that the Middle East is merely on the same path that the Western world was on in the post colonial era. There were civil wars and each country had to establish their own form of government. What most people choose to ignore is that this process was extremely bloody and violent for the Western world as well. There is no logical way to expect the same changes in the Middle East without allowing the same sort of process to occur. With these things to consider plus all of the external intervention that goes on in this region it is no surprise that this process of political and social evolution has been slowed. Not that this idea is in any way feasible, but if all the external influences were withdrawn and Middle Eastern countries were allowed form their own types of governments, that fit best within their religions and cultural parameters, without the interference of foreign powers, looking only to secure their own interests, there would be much more progress and lots less violence in the Middle East.
Sorry to go off there, but I’ve been thinking about this lots lately.
Hahaha, you know what the external influences are? The Americans! (I said this in my subjective mode)
Anyway, Erin, I have a great book to recommend, and it is called The Anatomy of Peace, written by a BYU psychology professor. It is a training material we use in our team (I work at the church headquarter. I know...). I think this book can help you a little (maybe a lot) to understand the conflicts over there. It changes how I see things in this world, in short. It might help you to see things more clearly.
I rarely recommend books to people but I think this is a great book to read, since you are there. If you can't get it, let me know your address and I will mail it to you.
You must care. They need you. Like you said in your title, "Charity", if you stop caring, where is the charity?
You are amazing, and I won't hate you ever, but you are right some people can't be convinced or won't listen no matter how "good" you are.
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