My typical day

So I've been asked quite a few times by the folks at home what it is I do exactly I do here at the embassy. I'll just tell you what I did today and that pretty much will sum up just about every other day I work.

6:25 - alarm goes off for me to get up and go run on the beach, but I instead hit snooze because I was up till 2am doing nothing of real importance

7:30 - finally get up and shower and wash my hair (or wait till 7:45 and determine that I don't really need to wash my hair [since it's only the fourth day] and steal 15 more minutes of sleep)

7:45 - decide on something to wear that would not included any ironing and get ready for work

8:10 - eat breakfast standing and while reading the newspaper 

8:11 - try not to freak out at the stock market and the incredible shrinking dollar and finish breakfast

8:25 - This is normally when John and I would leave for the embassy in his car, but since he is at a conference in Dubai, I take the bus (which never comes when it is supposed to)

8:30 - Run to catch the bus which is leaving even though it's not supposed to for another 5 minutes and hand over the 8.90 shekels it takes to get from Herzliya Pituach into Tel-Aviv and take my favorite seat by the window in the middle of the bus on the right side and put on my iPod headphones

8:50 - pray silently that the smelly weird guy looking for a seat on the bus doesn't take the one next to me

8:51 - Thank God that the smelly weird guy found another seat

9:30 - Get off at Ben-Yehuda, walk to the embassy and pass the gorgeous Israeli guards (whom I sheepishly smile at as they grin and wave), then the marines and head to my office (which I share with  two guys who we'll call Eyal and Chuck to protect their identities)

9:35 - Check my inbox and respond to either the American or Israeli company that contacted me for any variety of reasons and delete that mass e-mails from Washington that never apply to me

9:45 - Put on my cardigan (despite the fact the temperature is burning outside) because Eyal, an Israel-born bulldog of a man, has turned the AC down to 40F and will yell at me if I even think of touching the thermostat.

9:50 - Call some Israeli companies who are potential distributors for an American company that manufactures hydraulic and pneumatic torque wrenches looking for representation in Israel and send the necessary e-mails

9:55 - Listen to the hopelessly odd englishman with tourette's, Chuck (who has shifty eyes and is sorta creepy), yell at Eyal for turning down the AC so much and to "get out and bloody lose some weight" so he wont be hot all the time

10:30 - Call and re-call VERY LONG LISTS of American companies in Israel recruiting for sponsors (we need $80,000 total and in my work today, I got about $15,000) for a massive 4th of July event at the ambassador's residence which I wont actually go to (Can I just say that I will seriously miss being able to say "Hi this in Erin Thornhill form the US embassy" and have the person immediately connect me with whatever person I want--The CEO? The Chairman? No problemo. My skills of faking importance are becoming top-notch.)

11:45 - Get invited to the guard's party (as in the Israeli guard outside the embassy everyday) and feign coolness as I suppress the awkwardly giddy teenager who feels like the popular jock just showed up in his hot red sports car and asked her to the prom

12:30 - Go to lunch. Normally I eat with Alan, a real mensch who I like a lot (his daughter is Noa, the TV exec who has taken me under her wing). Every couple of days (like today) I buy something (schnitzel) and go sprawl on a bench by the beach and read my book about how scary law school is while enjoying the sun, the sea breeze, and my humus drenched schnitzel. 

1:30 - mourn the end of my schnitzel and go back to work

2:00 - Start to feel a huge underground zit emerging from my chin

2:55 - Continue to be really annoyed with the mutation that my chin is giving birth to

3:15 - Get caught by some girl from ECON while in front of the bathroom mirror trying to pop the zit on my face

3:16 - Go back to my office and think of ways to avoid seeing the girl from ECON

4:00 - Relish the fact that the woman on the other end of the phone went off in Hebrew and I understood

4:45 - Call it a day and go home with Doug. Normally I go with John or the shuttle (if John has a meeting or something) but sometimes I go with Doug, the really cool Deputy Senior Commercial Officer here at the embassy.

5:00 - Pass the two haggard looking Russian prostitutes squatting on rocks in the hilly sand lots that Doug off-roads through in his Blazer to get home quicker.

 5:20 - Walk in the door, throw down my purse and kick off my shoes and get ready to go to the beach to run/read.

Well, that was pretty much my work day. You're probably no less confused about what I actually do here even after all that. Let me try again. I basically make a lot of calls, send a lot of e-mails and try to get people to either come to some event, sponsor an event, consider representing an American firm in Israel or give me detailed information about a US export to Israel so I can then write an official report about it. I'm also doing some market research on renewable energy R & D in Israel. I go to receptions from time to time and get to dress-up and hobnob with important folks and try not to act like an idiot. 

I'm actually working on really fine-tuning my resume to send to a really great contact I made out here who worked on The Hill for 30-something years and I've been thinking about what I will put down for this. Somehow, I don't think putting down "Governmental bee-otch" would really sound quite right, but essentially, that's what I am. 

And I actually love it.